hide and seek

drank my red bull. barely played TERA today, annoying when i have to run to the bathroom and pee all the time. woke up to a UTI. thought i had gotten my period when i looked at the toilet paper. 5 days late. don't know if it's because i'm using a new app to keep track of my circles, but i think it's become irregular. hm.

anyway, i wanted to post about this awesome idea for a story that i got. sometimes i get really random ideas from dreams or thoughts for short films or books or songs or paintings or photos. thing is i'm not creative in any way so i don't do anything but write them down and forget about them. when i recall them i can remember them clearly though. even though they're not material i can enjoy them clearly in my head.

im gonna become a fairy
and live in your heart
and file your toenails while you sleep
hope you dont mind :3

want to make a story about a toenail clipping fairy living in the heart of the best person of the world.

i never write anything decent on this thing, well i don't write anything decent on any sites i'm a member of. but twitter, this blog, forums etc, they're all an outlet. boyfriend doesn't approve of me spilling my life out on the inets, but it's a comfortable outlet for me. i write in my moleskine, but writing by hand is tedious. true pc-generation teen. i just feel comfortable typing my thoughts out as they come, whatever they're about.

i'm in some kind of weird emotional state right now. might be because of the red bull. i'm so happy i want to cry and there are butterflies (or fairies?) in my entire core.

today mom and i went around the building to look for our storage space. apparently it was located in the safety room beneath the building. is it legal to put stuff in there? would think they should be cleared just in case of war or a natural disaster and the space would have to be used by people.. read the big ones in town (housing up to 25k people) are partly used as parking space. liak wat.

my shoulders are stiff and i have ants in my thighs. keep dangling my right foot. when i grow up i will live in the nicest little house or apartment with wind chimes and dream catchers and the best person on earth and i would go nude all day when at home.

it's may soon. i remember the year, i think i was twelve. went with some friends to a bonfire event at some place in my hometown. can't remember the name of it right now. all us kids running around. the crush i had at the time was there, and i was so happy that evening. we stood next to eachother among our friends looking at the fireworks and i fantasized about holding his hand. even though my crush on him faded, i still think of him sometimes. sometimes he shows up in my dreams. i don't know him anymore, but i firmly believe he's a truly good person.

there are people like that, who you don't really know, but leave a big imprint in the person you are and become. i'm grateful of all the people who passed through my life, those who did nothing but hurt me and those who provided the safety i needed. those i knew, and those i didn't. i doubt any of the persons from my past life is reading this, but if you are, TACK! :)

life is nice. don't you think?

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