once upon a time there was a boy and a girl living happily together and a bomb blew up the earth and separated the boy and the girl and they were drifting into space and an alien spaceship picked them up and revived them and they could live happily ever after the end



it's funny how you can hit such a low and then you just shoot up^. i'm quite the happeh. :] blasting some skrillex and enjoying the moment. i'll be fine and we'll be fine and we'll be together soon and have the time of our lives. i'll get over my issues. i'm not booking that appointment tomorrow. screw it. i'll be happy. just need to put some effort into trying. :D livskraft!
ლ( ̄へ ̄)ლ
i was going to make a list of everything that's wrong with me that needs to be fixed but i realized i can't make a list of everything. noone understands me. it's been painful breathing all day and i feel weird and it feels like my insides are going to burst.

jag vill inte dö, det är bara svårt att leva liksom.. letat fram telefon nummret till järvapsykiatrin. funderar på att ringa imorgon. men vad fan ska man säga? "jag är trasig, kan ni laga mig?" haahah... idek. jag tänker att även om jag mår dåligt så mår jag ändå inte så dåligt som många andra.. jag tänker att jag behöver ju ingen hjälp, låt det vara och låt tiden hela, typ. men det funkar ju inte, det har inte funkat på fem år. jag tänker att jag förtjänar ingen hjälp, jag skulle ju knappt kunna betala för ett läkarbesök. jag tänker jag tänker jag tänker. jag vill inte tänka längre.

har fått tid på arbetsförmedlingen den 4de. har ingen lust att gå dit. vill inte förklara för en främling varför jag inte brytt mej om att söka några jobb. vet inte hur jag ska göra. jag kollade handläggaren i ögonen och ljög. "jag mår bra nu".

varför då, egentligen. varför ska man må bra? den enda anledningen till att jag vill må bra är tolga. jag vill inte att han ska må dåligt pga mig. men om han inte fanns i mitt liv skulle jag så gärna sitta och stirra i en vägg och bara gråta. bara vara. jag är helt tom och samtidigt är jag full av virvlande tankar och känslor. leker med tanken på att svälja burken av mammas waran piller och kollar på fobi-listan på wikipedia. humans are silly.


in memory of JongKey

AHAHAHHAHA OMFG. waking up to an announcement about Jonghyun and Shin SeKyung dating. i'm incredibly surprised. SHINee are still a very young group imo and it's interesting to see the way their entertainment companies reacted. i'm sure they only announced it because Jonghyun and SeKyung wanted to.. hmmmm. poor girl had to shut her cyworld down because of the anti-spam. :( even though i was so surprised, and my heart is aching just a little bit because i see Jonghyun in a different light now, i'm really happy for them and i wish them all the best. i'm lolling at all the crazed fangirls who got their dreams crushed. DON'T CALL YOURSELF A 샤월 IF YOU'RE NOT WILLING TO SUPPORT THEM JUST CUS YOU WERE HAVING DREAMS OF HAVING JONGHYUN'S BABIES. plz gtfo the internet srsly.


A strange, terrific force unlike anything I've ever experienced is sprouting in my heart, taking root there, growing. Shut up behind my ribcage, my warm heart expands and contracts independent of my will - over and over.


Hi, my name is:
Erika K.

Never in my life have I been:
this happy that i am now

The one person who can drive me nuts is:
Tolga and Tolga and Tolga

High school:
yeah........ no.

When I’m nervous:
i run away and hide

The last song I listened to was:
Kent's Ärlighet Kärlek Respekt.. eller nått

If I were to get married right now my best man/maid of honor:
-_- idk

My hair is:

When I was 5:
yeah what

Last Christmas:

I should be:

When I look down I see:
my left hand in my pants

The happiest recent event was:

If I were a character on ‘Friends’ I’d be:

By this time next year:
i'll be together with Tolga

My current gripe is:
wtf is gripe

I have a hard time understanding:

I like you when:

If I won an award, the first person I would tell would be:

Take my advice:
live life

The thing I want to buy:
wind chime, dream catcher, stickers, glowinthedarkstuff

If you visited the place I was born:
you would probably be bored

If you spent the night at my house:
i would force you to eat chips and cheez doodles and watch mr. nobody and other epic movies with me

The world could do without:
ignorant assholes

Most recent thing I’ve bought myself:

Most recent thing someone else bought me:
Giant teddybear

My middle name is:

In the morning I:

The animals I would like to see flying besides birds are:

Once, at a bar:
someone died and i wasnt there

Last night I was:

There’s this guy I know who:
i love more than anyone have ever loved anyone before

If I was an animal I’d be:
a cat or a panda

A better name for me would be:
Erika Gonul

Tomorrow I am:
not sure yet

Tonight I am:

My birthday is:
on rainy days
Dagens humör: gladis, kär
Dagens borde: kasta sopor, diska, städa, Sailor Moon SuperS
Dagens frisyr: oborstat
Dagens klädsel: mysbyxor, d'espa tshirt och stickad glittrig cardigan
Dagens planer: Tolga
Dagens materiella vill ha: Glowinthedark-stjärnor eller grejs som man sätter i taket, vindspel, drömfångare.. typ. fina grejsor. :3
Dagens längtan: Tolga, hallonsoda, cider, kolsyra
Dagens fundering: vad har dom stoppat i min Moleskine's papper?! känns så lyxigt.
Dagens beroende: Tolga
Dagens tråkigaste: öööh... venne. har inte varit så tråkigt i dag. rikligt med Tolga osv.
Dagens personer: Tolga
Dagens roliga: Tolga
Dagens låt: JYJ's Empty, Kent's Gamla Ullevi


What/Who got you into kpop?
the first korean music i listened to was BIG BANG, not knowing it was korean.. i just thought it was good and i would listen to it, not realy caring much of who they were. the group that got me into kpop though, was Super Junior. Sungmin's "i just died and came back to life" from some variety show where the boys were learning how to drive won me over.. lmao. and i got into Super Junior thanks to a certain AhjumHanna's leader birthday spam on bilddagboken. :)

Favourite boy group?

Favourite girl group?
Uhmmmm..... 2NE1 or Girls' Generation.

Favourite idol group overall?

Other groups you love?
the previously mentioned, 2PM, 2AM, Miss A, TVXQ, all the Super Junior sub-groups, SHINee, F.Cuz, did i mention SHINee? f(x), wouldn't say One Way or Epik High are "groups" as in popgroups.. but yeah.

Rank your favourites from each of your stated groups above?
BIG BANG, G-Dragon
Super Junior, Heechul, Kyuhyun, Yehsung, INSERT 10 MORE MEMBERS HERE
2NE1, CL
Girls' Generation, Tiffany, Jessica, Sunny, Yuri, Yoona, Taeyeon ... xD
SHINee, Key, Jonghyun, Taemin, Onew, Minho .. oops
2PM, i would say Jay.. but yeah. Junsu.
2AM, Kwon
Miss A, Suzy
TVXQ, JJ, Chunface
F.Cuz, LeeU
f(x), Krystal, Sulli
Epik High, BloKutzRa .. :3

Favourite pairings from each of your stated groups?

Favourite solo female singer?
BoA, Jisun,Taru, Yozoh, would E.via count as a singer?

Favourite solo male singer?
Son HoYoung, KCM, aaah that guy from Brown Eyed Soul that i can't remember the name of xD Wheesung, Evan, K.Will, does Jay Park count? :o there was this fucking awesome male singer back a few years ago.. forgot his name.. -_- AH. I FOUND HIS NAME. Kang KyunSung. SDFKDSFKSD.

Favourite idol overall?
Kim Heechul, Kim Key, Kim Jonghyun..

Favourite songs right now?
JYJ's Empty, E.via's Pick up! U!, Rainbow's A

Favourite fanclub?
SHINee World, S♥ne

Favourite entertainment company?
YG Entertainment

Loved a group your not into anymore?

First kpop song ever?
Mmm.. would like to say We Belong Together by Big Bang, featuring Park Bom, but that was second. Big Bang's Goodbye Baby.

First kpop music video ever?
AHAHAH no idea. Super Junior's Happiness, i think

First kpop love (group/solo)?
Super Junior

Group you could never get into no matter how much you tried.
Uhh... i don't know, lol. most of the million new rookie groups have only come out few average title songs so. i'm sure i could get into them if i wanted to, but i'm not very active within fandom anymore anyway. got better stuff to do. such as watching Sailor Moon. xD

Any dance you can do (from a MV etc) or want to learn?
i know (or knew) Girls' Generation's Gee, Kissing you (AHAHHA miss watching ChinChin and dancing along to Sungmin and Sunny q_q), parts of Tell me your wish, Oh!, Ooh la la!, Girls' Generation, Etude, Run Devil Run, Way to go, Chocolate love.. well i know most great song's dance moves for at least the chorus, maybe not that good but i know them at least. xD

Any songs you memorised the lyrics to?
A ton.. mostly SHINee.

Hottest male in the industry to you?
Humm.. Kim Jonghyun?

Prettiest female in the industry to you?
Jessica Jung, Sulli

A person you want to be like/admire the most?

A song you must/always/usually listen to EVERY day?
recently, E.via's Pick up! U!.

Your favourite music video?
Uhh... -_- Kpop have really awesome MVs in general. hard to choose. Epik High's Map the Soul?


scrub who hasn't done her eyebrows in months. WHERE'S THE GODDAMN TWEEZER.


so today it rained and rained and it was awesome and windy and cold and i sent off my school applications and a letterishthing for Tolga. Californication is awesome, so is Machinarium and Hello Kitty Online. (not a joke) i'm happy lately.

Conversation started between Sul and lolga: Tue, Aug 31 22:54:44 2010
[22:55] lolga: what if i want to kiss you
[22:55] lolga: conflict of interest
[22:55] lolga: how we gonna resolve this
[22:56] Sul: how about you dont kiss me and i dont kiss you
[22:56] lolga: who do I kiss then
[22:56] Sul: go kiss your hand
[22:56] Sul: or something
[23:07] lolga: but i want ur beautiful lips o,o
[23:07] Sul: fu
[23:08] lolga: why fu
[23:08] Sul: zzzzzzzzz
[23:08] lolga: stop that
[23:11] lolga: is that how you treat people that love you? :(